A Daily Rest - The Logistics

Thanks so much for the wonderful comments in my last post, ladies. I'm glad the article was a blessing to you.

I know it's all fine and good to agree with the author in theory, but several readers have wondered how exactly a daily rest pans out in real life. There are definitely days that I'm left scratching my head, too :)

I think this "daily rest" is likely to be constantly changing, adapting to the need of the moment and the phase of life. For instance, a family with a newborn in the house may have far lighter lessons for a time, enabling Mama to get those much-needed extra moments of sleep. For a family with 4 somewhat older children all doing a full schedule of Ambleside Online - Mama might check out for thirty minutes while the children all have some productive independent work to do. I've learned that what works for my family now probably will not work for my family in even six months. Schedules and routines have to constantly change and grow with us if they are to be our helps and not our masters.

Here's a peek into our day today as an illustration -

It's a Monday and we haven't been outside at ALL today, even though it's gorgeous outside. We have houseguests coming for Punkin's 5th birthday (!) this weekend and there are literal MOUNTAINS of laundry to do. Additionally, we did very light lessons last week as the house and its many projects took precedence for a bit (I'm sure our houseguests will appreciate a door on their room!!! - ha). So, we've done a lot of housework and a lot of school work. It's now 3:30, we just finished a history lesson, and I'm totally fried. Punkin and Little Dude are still napping, and probably will be for another 30 minutes or so. Shug is reading, SweetP is making beaded bracelets. I am blogging - shame on me! So now I'm going to log off and try to get some rest before I hear my little man calling out to tell me he's not interested in staying in bed anymore. Monday nights are Sam's late nights - he'll probably be home at 7pm or a little later. It's very important that I rest now to help me carry out the rest of the late afternoon and early evening. I'll get maybe 20-25 minutes. Less if I don't wrap this up pronto :)

As we add more and more into our school days, it becomes increasingly difficult for me to have time alone with the Lord in the afternoon. If I don't wake up before the children and have time to read the Word and pray then, it's likely it won't happen at all. In the afternoons, if I grab a break, I nap. In the evenings I read just a chapter or two of a book. Last night I read a chapter of A Tale of Two Cities. Tonight I think I'll read the second chapter of Adler's How to Read a Book. Maybe the secret to fitting in a little reading and a rest is to keep both short. You needn't read 100 pages of a book in one sitting to benefit from it :) In fact, less is likely to be more - especially if you can think on it a bit while you do dishes or fold laundry the next day.

I wouldn't cut down on time in the Word or prayer, though. That's one area where longer lessons are better :)

Anyway, glad you all enjoyed the article! Thanks again for the comments! Now, time to crash. Oh, and just in case I hear my boy moments after my head hits the pillow - I whole-heartedly agree with the readers who left this bit of wisdom for us all:

"However, I have to agree with what Nikki said about resting in the Lord. I tend to guard my quiet time so jealously that it can become an idol that I selfishly feel like I can't do without."

Amen, Heather & Nikki. I often say that Motherhood is Selfishness Boot Camp :)

Have a great one, ladies!!!




P.S. Oh, and I have to admit something - I had a rather substantial cup of strong black tea at 3:15 ;)

A Daily Rest

Here's another Parents' Review article to get your minds working. This one is called Simple Things - A Daily Rest (again, about Mother Culture). I hope you enjoy it! I'll be back in a few days to share my thoughts on it, and hopefully hear yours as well :)

Parents' Review Article: "Mother Culture"

Note: The following is a narration of sorts - a kind of "telling back" to myself all of the principles I've just read. I'm not an expert on Mother Culture, I'm learning and narrating the thoughts of someone who knows far more than I do about the subject :) I in no way come close to this ideal - I struggle to find balance everyday. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, too!

Volume 3, no. 2, 1892/93

Mother Culture (click to read the article)

The main goal of Mother Culture is that the mother continue growing as an individual. It is that she continue learning, gaining experiences, developing as a woman. What do you think of that notion? That message could sound just like a feminist reaction to "stifling" activities like cleaning bathrooms and other forms of senseless drudgery (aka home life). Is Mother Culture all about nursing discontentment at home by running away whenever possible? A cup of tea and a trip to the art gallery and now I'm a whole woman? It can sound as though we are encouraged to demand our rights. Certainly not. We are not our own, we were bought at a price. What, then, is to set our growth apart from this restless pursuit of "me time"?

"though she may do much for her children, she cannot do all she might,
if she, as they, were growing!" (emphasis mine)

There is a little prepositional phrase that clears things up for us. For her children. Our growth and continuing education as Christian mothers is to be for others. At its heart, Mother Culture must be others oriented. Although the author never says as much, I think it's critical to stress that wives and mothers who feel the need for a little time to themselves to think, to create, to grow must be able to say that it is for the glory of God that they do so. He is the Big Other - Christ Jesus first and foremost.

When I first began reading about Mother Culture, I just couldn't honestly say that taking time for myself on a regular basis would be glorifying to God. The Lord has given me this home, this wonderful man, these blessed children to care for and work for and spend myself for. Wouldn't time for myself be nothing but selfish escapism? How is that glorifying God?

"So many mothers say, 'I simply have no time for myself!' 'I never read a book!'
Or else, 'I don't think it is right to think of myself!' They not only starve
their minds, but they do it deliberately, and with a sense of self-sacrifice
which seems to supply ample justification...She must see which is the most
important--the time spent in luxuriously gloating over the charms of her
fascinating baby, or what she may do with that time to keep herself 'growing'
for the sake of that baby 'some day,' when it will want her even more than it
does now." (emphasis mine, again)

Ouch. That last part made me chuckle and wince all at one time. Our children are still quite young. We think the occasional tricky doctrinal question is tough stuff right now, but how well equipped am I for what lies ahead? Spiritually steering young men and women through the trials and pains of life? Am I growing enough to help them grow, too? At the very least, Mother Culture - and the intended personal growth - should include time studying and memorizing the Scriptures. It should include time to pray and meditate and worship and be still before the Lord. That's not so easy to do with little children, is it sisters? Yet, I don't think any of us would say that it isn't important. Surely, if we are to be godly women who would raise our children to the glory of God, we should have regular time really alone with Him. Seeking spiritual growth.

Such planned time isn't selfish - it's needful. Mothers have a need to continue to grow spiritually. The author of this PR article is basically taking a broader view and including all areas of a mother's individuality. We talk about educating the "whole child", and Mother Culture seeks growth in the "whole Mother" :) Mothers need to continue to grow, not in blatantly spiritual areas only, but in many different facets of their person. Mentally, physically, socially. The message of Mother Culture is really all very simple...

Mothers need to be continually bettering themselves so
that they can be better for others.

("Others" meaning better mothers and, I might add, better wives and more faithful stewards of our gifts, too. We don't want to focus too much on just the children as motivation!). With this perspective, it begins to make more sense. Is it glorifying to my Father when I work to become a better mother? When I work to become a better wife? When I take personal stewardship seriously and make use of the gifts He has given me? Wow. Yes. Yes.

Now, a word of caution. Time intended for the glory of God and the blessing of others will all too easily morph into full-blown selfishness. God is not honored when, in the name of Mother Culture, we happily type away on some blog while our 2 year old cries and throws his lunch. Wisdom is needed, ladies, and we must pray for both the wisdom to know what we should do with our time and the grace to do it.

The author recommends half an hour each day, set aside for mother to have quiet moments to herself. To read, think, journal maybe? If you have been having a difficult time consistently meeting with the Lord in private, this is the perfect area in which to begin setting aside time away from the children and demands of daily life. Purposed time. Alone.

If you already have regular time to read, pray, worship, and memorize God's Word, maybe a few minutes in the afternoon for reading would be useful for your growth. Blogs are fine, some are very good. Ask yourself if you are really growing from reading them. Ditch the ones that aren't profitable (even if it's my own!). The internet is okay, too. But, this might be a better time for something a little more highminded. Maybe you have never really learned to appreciate poetry or art. Read through a few pages of children's poems or thumb through a Van Gogh coffee table book. Maybe you've never read Shakespeare or one of the classic books on next year's AO free reading list. Pick one up. Maybe you've been wanting to read a book about gardening or part of Miss Mason's original volumes. Well, here's your chance. You could paint in watercolors or knit something, for that matter. Pray through World magazine. You get the idea :)

I liked this last quote. I might put it up in my kitchen.

"What we need is a habit of taking our minds out of what one is
tempted to call 'the domestic rag-bag' of perplexities, and giving it a good
airing in something which keeps it 'growing.' "

You know, the rag bag looks a lot less raggedy if you've stepped away from it for a little while. If nothing else, time to be quiet and think tends to give some much needed perspective. It helps me to think of Mother Culture as growing for God and growing for others. For God in the sense that I am seeking to glorify Him in the exercise of my gifts, talents, and abilities. For Him, also, in any way that I might be made better for service to His kingdom - both within and beyond my home and family. For others in the sense that my growing makes me a better lover and help to my husband. For others, also, as my growing is a blessing and source of encouragement, wisdom, strength, and instruction for my children and - hopefully - those around me. It is, like all good things, completely by the grace of God. It is His Hand that has given us minds, enlightened thoughts, talents, gifts. There is no room for boasting and no room for seeking selfish gain. There is room, though - needful room - for a mother's personal growth. Here's a catchy little phrase you can take with you in your thoughts today, if you'd like:

Mother Culture - daily growing in order to glorify God and be a blessing to others.

May the Lord help us all to use our time wisely and seek His face.

Mother Culture

If you've been reading here and there about Charlotte Mason and her philosophy of education, you may have come across the phrase "mother culture". I admit that when I first began researching CM methods, I thought it sounded awfully odd and... well... self-absorbed. There is such a strong voice coming from the world these days, telling mothers that they need to "put themselves first" and claim their rights to "me time" and all that. I was leary. Mother Culture? Hmm... next page, please.

Fast forward several years (and a few extremely stressful seasons) and I've become more educated about Miss Mason's ideas of mother culture as well as more appreciative of her insights. I'm going to blog more on this topic and share my own thoughts with you, but first - some homework for those who might be interested :)

This is what I'm reading through tonight, narrating as I go (in the form of the next blog post!). Would you like to read it too so we can talk about it in a few days?

Nice, Strong Tea with C.S. Lewis

When I was a college girl, I had tea nearly every day with Elisabeth Elliot. That's funny, really, because I've never actually met her. But, in a kind of reverse adoption, I took Mrs. Gren (her real name) as my personal mentor in Christ. I read her books, her essays, her autobiographies for years. I came to feel that I knew her, and (I hope), my heart and life were influenced by her gracious example.

My brother-in-law, Brian, has had a similar experience with C.S. Lewis. He adores Lewis and can quote many of his books just from the sheer love of reading him over and over again. Lewis has, for him, done what Elisabeth Elliot has done for me - he has helped Brian see Christ more clearly and encouraged him to love Christ more. Isn't that why believers write books for other believers, anyway? They are using their gifts for the glory of God and for the good of His church - really one in the same thing.

I haven't adopted an author-mentor in quite a while. I think it's time :) Having been so intrigued by Brian's love for Lewis, and having just begun to read through the Chronicles of Narnia (for the first time!!) with my children, I've decided C.S. Lewis is the natural choice. I have no idea how many of his books I'll be able to read in 2009, but I've posted a chronological reference list below to keep me moving along. I hope to start with Pilgrim's Regress soon (I borrowed it from Brian today).

If you've never adopted an author-mentor, maybe this year would be a good time to begin. Who can tell how the Lord may use that one man or that one woman to deeply impact your life and spur you on in your love for the Lord and His people this year?

May you be blessed as you draw nearer to our Lord God.

C.S. Lewis Chronological Reference List (compiled from Wikipedia)

The Pilgrim's Regress (1933)

The Allegory of Love: A Study in Medieval Tradition (1936)

Out of the Silent Planet (1938)

Rehabilitations and other essays (1939) — with two essays not included in Essay Collection (2000)

Collected Letters, Vol. I: Family Letters 1905 – 1931 (2000)

The Personal Heresy: A Controversy (with E. M. W. Tillyard, 1939)

The Problem of Pain (1940)

A Preface to Paradise Lost (1942)

The Screwtape Letters (1942)

The Abolition of Man (1943)

Perelandra (aka Voyage to Venus) (1943)

Beyond Personality (1944)

The Great Divorce (1945)

That Hideous Strength (1946)

Collected Letters, Vol. II: Books, Broadcasts and War 1931 – 1949 (2004)

Miracles: A Preliminary Study (1947, revised 1960)

George MacDonald: An Anthology (editor, 1947)

Essays Presented to Charles Williams (editor, 1947)

Arthurian Torso (1948; on Charles Williams's poetry)

Collected Letters, Vol. III: Narnia, Cambridge and Joy 1950 – 1963 (2007)

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (1950)

Prince Caspian (1951)

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (1952)

Mere Christianity (1952; based on radio talks of 1941 – 1944)

The Silver Chair (1953)

The Horse and His Boy (1954)

English Literature in the Sixteenth Century Excluding Drama (1954); 1975 reprint ISBN 0198812981;

Major British Writers, Vol I (1954), Contribution on Edmund Spenser

Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life (1955; autobiography)

The Magician's Nephew (1955)

The Last Battle (1956)

Till We Have Faces (1956)

Reflections on the Psalms (1958)

The Four Loves (1960)

Studies in Words (1960)

An Experiment in Criticism (1961)

Screwtape Proposes a Toast (1961) (an addition to The Screwtape Letters)

A Grief Observed (1961; first published under the pseudonym «N. W. Clerk»)

They Asked for a Paper: Papers and Addresses(1962)

Selections from Layamon's Brut (ed. G L Brook, 1963 Oxford University Press) introduction

Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer (1964)

The Discarded Image: An Introduction to Medieval and Renaissance Literature (1964)
Studies in Medieval and Renaissance Literature (1966) — not included in Essay Collection (2000)

Spenser's Images of Life (ed. Alastair Fowler, 1967)

Letters to an American Lady (1967)

Christian Reflections (1967; essays and papers)

Selected Literary Essays (1969) — not included in Essay Collection (2000)

God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics (1970), = Undeceptions (1971) — all included in Essay Collection (2000)

The Dark Tower (1977)

Of Other Worlds (1982; essays) — with one essay not included in Essay Collection
Present Concerns (1986; essays)

All My Road Before Me: The Diary of C. S. Lewis 1922 – 27 (1993)




Additional References:

Essay Collection: Literature, Philosophy and Short Stories (2000)

Essay Collection: Faith, Christianity and the Church (2000)

The Business Of Heaven:Daily Readings From C. S. Lewis ed. Walter Hooper, 1984, Harvest Book, Harcourt, Inc.

Boxen: The Imaginary World of the Young C. S. Lewis (ed. Walter Hooper, 1985)

Spirits in Bondage (1919; published under pseudonym Clive Hamilton)

Dymer (1926; published under pseudonym Clive Hamilton)

Narrative Poems (ed. Walter Hooper, 1969; includes Dymer)

The Collected Poems of C. S. Lewis (ed. Walter Hooper, 1994; includes Spirits in Bondage)